Friday, February 5, 2010

One more week of stress.
with tests, projects to hand up and all those stuffs.
Theres much to do zzz.
And next week is CNY and of course Valentine's Day..
Wont be anticipating much anyway so yea.
Looks like i will be focused on exams for now then.
Sigh. o.o well tag me anyway if u wan to :)

recorded at 11:57 PM

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Tuesday, February 2, 2010

This few weeks no time to do things. Only can do and do for no good reason.
Got project also do. No project also have to do.
zzz. O well, sigh... sometimes i think right, that i shouldnt be scolding people
but i also feel that they shld really try to do it right too.
Scolding people isnt what i like, if only things can be easily explained.
But if people cant understand what they doing and still scold people for not explaining correctly,
i do think that its not a good idea to really continue explaining anymore.

sigh and yet again yesterday continues my continuing streak of been given a feeling of "go away". It hurts but i walked away afterwards, even though i know its awkward. But on the other hand, i feel sad about it. Just mere sadness and dejected. Thats all. I guess i really am not welcome at all.

recorded at 11:08 PM

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Saturday, January 30, 2010

Just realise I always do things too late.
Make things happen too late.
So yeah, too late to say sorry
but yeah Im just too late.
But well, i will finish up things though.
in the saddest way as usual.
1. how well do you know youself?rank from 1-10, 1 being the least.
1, i do not know myself anymore.

2. do you get along well with your siblings?
Kind of well.

3. if you were given a million bucks to kill someone you dont know, will you do it?
Yes, and that will be killin myself, who doesnt know himself.

4. would you risk your life for your father or your mother?
I will, for the mistake tat allowed myself to endanger their life

5. would you risk your life for your gf/bf or your friends?
Same reason.

6. do you like your eyes better, or your lips?
None. I have no interest in any of them.

7. do you have someone you like currently?
I will not put it as like. I will put it as love alrdy.

8. does anybody like you currently?
I will never know.

9. what are you doing now?
Doing my project.

10. do you prefer ice-cream or chocolate?
Chocolate

11. do you prefer coffee or tea?
Coffee

12. which celebrity do you admire?
Jay chou.

13. do you prefer the violin or guitar?
Guitar

14. what do you like to drink?
Pepsi

16. if you could ask for one thing now, what would you ask for?
Nothing but you.

17. do you like to daydream alot?
Not really.

18. what is your favourite colour?
Black

19. what is your favourite subject?
Mathematics

20. do you prefer the sun or the rain?
Rain

21. do you prefer the winter or spring?
Spring

22. do you prefer the darkness or light?
Darkness.

23. do you prefer the computer or your handphone?
Computer

24. who do you feel like texting now?
No comment.

25. favourite singer?
Jay chou

26. what are you currently listening to?
Wedding Dress -Taeyang

27. what type of shirt are you wearing now?
Purple t-shirt

28. do you prefer a quiet or loud gf/bf?
No preference.

29. if you were given a chance to change something about yourself, what would it be?
Nothing. Cuz its too late.

30. is there someone you cant forgive now?
None.

31. is there something you are upset about now?
None.

32. is there something you are happy about now?
None.

33. what is the first thing that comes into your mind when i say, "memories"?
that day.

34. who is the first person that comes into your mind when i say, "love"?
If i could say it now, i would.

35. is there something you cannot forgive about yourself?
No doubt.

36. what time is it now?
2.06am

37. what do you like about yourself?
None.

38. what do you like about your significant other?
Whatever she does.

39. who are your best friends?
Everyone.

40. name one of your nickname.
Lucifer

41. do you prefer to have a pair of wings, or powers to change thing?
The powers to change something. And that would be adding wings to restrict myself.

42. if you had powers, what kind of power do you want to possess?
The power to be visible.

43. where is your favourite place to hangout?
Home

44. what sort of book do you like to read?
Manga. Inspirational ones.

45. do you prefer a puppy or a kitten as a pet?
none. I shldnt restrict their life.

46. which is your favourite month?
February

47. what sort of music do you like?
Chinese romantic pop.

48. who are you missing now?
Read my mind.

49. do you dare to scream loudly in the middle of a shopping mall?
Not scream, roar.

50. why are you doing this quiz?
To do what i have to do.

recorded at 9:54 AM

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What to do when life doesnt seem to feel fine at all
when everything seem so vague.
The surroundings
The voices
The thoughts
everything feel so vague.
Nothing seems interesting anymore
I couldnt see what I could see without ah...
nvm.. I wonder if it doesnt matter anymore.
the wish that i made, it came true once before.
but i guess asking for it has become too much.
Telling u everything that i really feel,
seems hard but I really wan to let u know.
But if i only i can hear from u at least once in a long while.
That would be fine.
But its okay, cuz i know I have alrdy no longer have any right to have any say.
But I hope things will turn out fine as always.
I can only hope.
My words cant change anything
For im only human.
yet with a mind of another entity.

recorded at 9:48 AM

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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

God knows whether people enjoy reading what i write anyway.
Just write up anyway in case i havent forget what happened the past weeks.
Hmm.. school and school. Sleep and sleep. Spending most of the time on those two.
Nothing to do at all really.
Cuz lookin at thing, hmm not really of much interest anyway.
Many things i wan to say, but well, things are alrdy over so its a pretty difficult to say anyway.
Maybe random sayings would do fine.

To say or not to say,
to say it out and things happening the wrong way,
people will push the blame back to the one who say.
Not to say it out and things happened,
people will question the blame on the one who did not say.
Strange indeed,
but who is to be blamed for not finding out themselves.

To be yourself or not to be yourself.
To be yourself and people does not like the way u do things
yet giving u little space and time to improve yourself.
Not to be yourself and people contradict by telling u to be yourself
yet your mind thought about how they treat u badly when u are yourself.
Strange indeed,
but who is to be blamed when humans arent happy enough with what u do.

To talk or to talk
To talk and people cant hear u
Whatever u say, people never notice u.
not to talk and people say u shld speak up
yet on the other hand when u try to talk, people dunt respond.
Strange indeed,
but who is to be blamed when u tried your best alrdy but noone responds.

recorded at 1:35 PM

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Thursday, January 21, 2010

I know that many things have happened
and I know that well, u just dun wan to know what happen to me anymore.
So yeah i hope u see this once will do.
Happy 15th birthday.
Good luck and take care.
I hope the happy old days return for u.

recorded at 10:01 AM

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Saturday, January 9, 2010

long time bo blog le. Holidays spend so much time on holidays, FYP, studies and probably thinking about many many stuffs. Yet on the other hand. I have noticed a couple of changes so far in my life.
Seeing that i haven blogged for long, maybe i will blog something that I have been thinking about and noticing though.
Realising some things alrdy cant be helped, lookin at the way things dun seem to go well, i guess today i have to commenrate the day I have broken another one's heart in terms of friendship officially.
Well, not tat i really wana make that happen, but sometimes, well, i can only say "it cant be helped".
I have said many times before, that well, anyone would hate me in the end. And yeah it happened again though. But well, I knew it though. I cant blame u though. I am a complicated monster who just wana make people hate me. Indifferent as i am, yet unable to solve it with my own hands.
When using my own ability to try and make tings happen, it seem quite impossible yet i held on. I held on. Yet, just like building a bridge between two sides, when one side is done, the other side has not started yet moreover, noone is over at the other side. And there the bridge crumbles as i fell along with it.
Well, it cant be helped. Its too late i know. U wont want to know me anymore i know, but i wont forget u. Just believe this 4 words. I wont forget u.
Hope u enjoy a happier life there and dun be so pessimistic about life again. Yeap u wont wana know what had happened to me so well, watching u over always even if u dun wan to..